Sosic of seeing fat.

well its 5:46pm and so far so good.
ive had 1 cup of 40 calorie hot chocolate, that was much earlier. and i had 1 bottle of water with the Slimquick powder mix inside, and i had one glass of ice cold water.
im not hungry at all, infact i dont even want food. i feel so disguste with how much ive gained.
im pretty damn tired too, i smoked the last of my weed earlier (kind of for a control challenge, to see if i could say NO to the munchies and continue with my fast, which i did!) so now im just tired, which means no excersise unfortunatly... tomorrow im still debating whether i should go to school or not, i want to because its a chance to move around more and burn more calories, plus i will get money which i means i will buy Ecstasy to help lose weight (i know i know, bad. but ive been quite hooked to E for a about a year and a half now). Plus someone that goes to my school has ADD or ADHD, one of them. so im going to get Adderal or Ritalin, which ever he has.
BUT i DONT want to go because ive gained so much..i feel so dirty, and full. like i have layers of fat attached to me and holding me down! luckily i managed to successfully go today without food.
well, i will think about my plans for tomorrow...right now im going to look at some thinspo then possibly shower or sleep lol.