Sosic of seeing fat.

hey guys.
well yesturday my day was terrible, just overall.

but im just trying to forget about it and carry on. today is a new day and im going to make the best of it.
i THINK i previously mentioned i drank some laxative tea last night and instead of using 1 tea bag i used two because it said would take up to 6-12 hours, i needed the food out of me SOONER. i could have purged but my mom was near, and i was thinking about doing it anyways but i didnt want to take the chance of her hearing and then babbling on and on and then watching me like a hawk for the rest of my life.
anyways. the laxative tea kicked in this morning (hahah so if TMI) but PERFECT timing. now its like i can start clean today,fresh. no food!
my day today is going to be just water. but im going to go out and buy Eska water because my dad has Purelife water right now and usually i cant notice a difference in the taste of water. but that stuff taste like im drinking piss warm water no matter how cold it is!
if that makes sense?

so its 11:30am and im still doing good. i plan on just creeping around my house, watch some christmas movies!
speaking of christmas. its only 6 days away! i didnt relize how close it was untill i counted this morning. i have SIX DAYS TO GET DOWN TO 100. preferably 99. the 2 digits just seem so perfect.
so my goal untill christmas is to fast for a few days, and the days im not fasting eat ONE salad.
i was 102.6 yesturday morning but after a my binge yesturday im not sure, im not going to weigh myself today (even though i can see the scale mocking me) im going to WEIGHT till tomorrow (haha im so lame :P) since im fasting today.
it shouldnt be anymore then 106...im HOPING.

i also order a few things off the Walden Farms (zero calorie EVERYTHING) website about 3 days ago. i should get them sometime this weekend if they ship on weekends, or on monday.

ANYWAYS. i hope everyone is doing great!
xox