Sosic of seeing fat.

Ok well i havnt been on here for a while. Things have been tough.
and i know i just started the blog, and it wasnt to good to begin with, you may also know how i mentioned the forum whyeat.net
well ive decided to take a break from that forum and this blog so i can REALLY focus on this "diet".
im going to starve lik ei never have before. im going exercize every day untill im unable to move my body anymore.
im going to get SO thin no one will ever recognize me including myself.
this is it. im so sick of hating the way i look.
im going to throw out all the junk food in my house, i dont care if my parents and brother want to eat it.
im going to do this. i wont let go again. im in control of this. IM IN CONTROL!

Dear Ana:
This place is a hole
but I don't wanna go
i wish we could stay here forever alone
this time that we waste
but i still love your taste
don't let him take my place
don't just sit there

sometimes I wish you would leave me
whoa I'm not sick of you yet
is that as good as it gets
I'll just hide it
I could slip into you
its so easy to come back into you

I stayed for a while
and waited for words
seen but not heard
and struggled to try
my tongues turnin' black
but I'll take you back
your still the best more or less
I guess
I guess

don't you leave me
whoa I'm not sick of you yet
is that as good as it gets
I'll just hide it oh
I could slip into you
its so easy to come back into you

and it hurts me to say that it hurts me to stay
and it might be all right if you go
it hurts me to say that i want you stay but it might be alright if you go

so leave me
whoa I'm not sick of you yet
is that as good as it gets
I'll just decided whoa i could slip into you its so easy to come...
back into you

sometimes i think that the bitter in you and the quitter in me is the bitter in you and quitter in me
the bitter in you is the quitter in me is the bitter in me and the quitter in me
the bitter in you and the quitter in me is (yeah)
is better than the both of us

Thats my favourite song by my favourite band. i dedicate it to my frienemy Ana.
ive lost my friends, my life everything to ana. but im not ready to leave her yet. infact, im ready to make her my only official BESTFRIEND.
sound crazy? i know. but i need her ...